Friday, December 23, 2011

Israel - Beyond the Conflict

The history and the productivity of the Jewish people



Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Armenian Genocide

The Armenian Genocide was carried out by the "Young Turk" government of the Ottoman Empire in 1915-1916 (with subsidiaries to 1922-23). One and a half million Armenians were killed, out of a total of two and a half million Armenians in the Ottoman Empire.

Most Armenians in America are children or grandchildren of the survivors, although there are still many survivors amongst us.

Armenians all over the world commemorate this great tragedy on April 24, because it was on that day in 1915 when 300 Armenian leaders, writers, thinkers and professionals in Constantinople (present day Istanbul) were rounded up, deported and killed. Also on that day in Constantinople, 5,000 of the poorest Armenians were butchered in the streets and in their homes.

The Armenian Genocide was masterminded by the Central Committee of the Young Turk Party (Committee for Union and Progress [Ittihad ve Terakki Cemiyet, in Turkish]) which was dominated by Mehmed Talât [Pasha], Ismail Enver [Pasha], and Ahmed Djemal [Pasha]. They were a racist group whose ideology was articulated by Zia Gökalp, Dr. Mehmed Nazim, and Dr. Behaeddin Shakir.



The Armenian Genocide was directed by a Special Organization (Teshkilati Mahsusa) set up by the Committee of Union and Progress, which created special "butcher battalions," made up of violent criminals released from prison.

Some righteous Ottoman officials such as Celal, governor of Aleppo; Mazhar, governor of Ankara; and Reshid, governor of Kastamonu, were dismissed for not complying with the extermination campaign. Any common Turks who protected Armenians were killed.

The Armenian Genocide occurred in a systematic fashion, which proves that it was directed by the Young Turk government.

First the Armenians in the army were disarmed, placed into labor battalions, and then killed.

Then the Armenian political and intellectual leaders were rounded up on April 24, 1915, and then killed.

Finally, the remaining Armenians were called from their homes, told they would be relocated, and then marched off to concentration camps in the desert between Jerablus and Deir ez-Zor where they would starve and thirst to death in the burning sun.

On the march, often they would be denied food and water, and many were brutalized and killed by their "guards" or by "marauders." The authorities in Trebizond, on the Black Sea coast, did vary this routine: they loaded Armenians on barges and sank them out at sea.

The Turkish government today denies that there was an Armenian genocide and claims that Armenians were only removed from the eastern "war zone." The Armenian Genocide, however, occurred all over Anatolia [present-day Turkey], and not just in the so-called "war zone." Deportations and killings occurred in the west, in and around Ismid (Izmit) and Broussa (Bursa); in the center, in and around Angora (Ankara); in the south-west, in and around Konia (Konya) and Adana (which is near the Mediterranean Sea); in the central portion of Anatolia, in and around Diyarbekir (Diyarbakir), Harpout (Harput), Marash, Sivas (Sepastia), Shabin Kara-Hissar (?ebin Karahisar), and Ourfa (Urfa); and on the Black Sea coast, in and around Trebizond (Trabzon), all of which are not part of a war zone. Only Erzeroum, Bitlis, and Van in the east were in the war zone.



The Armenian Genocide was condemned at the time by representatives of the British, French, Russian, German, and Austrian governments—namely all the major Powers. The first three were foes of the Ottoman Empire, the latter two, allies of the Ottoman Empire. The United States, neutral towards the Ottoman Empire, also condemned the Armenian Genocide and was the chief spokesman in behalf of the Armenians.

The American people, via local Protestant missionaries, did the most to save the wretched remnants of the death marches, the orphaned children.

Despite Turkish denial, there is no doubt about the Armenian Genocide. For example, German ambassador Count von Wolff-Metternich, Turkey's ally in World War I, wrote his government in 1916 saying: "The Committee [of Union and Progress] demands the annihilation of the last remnants of the Armenians and the [Ottoman] government must bow to its demands."

German consuls stationed in Turkey, including Vice Consul Max Erwin von Scheubner-Richner of Erzerum [Erzurum] who was Adolf Hitler's chief political advisor in the 1920s, were eyewitnesses. Hitler said to his generals on the eve of sending his Death's Heads units into Poland, "Go, kill without mercy . . . who today remembers the annihilation of the Armenians."

Henry Morgenthau Sr., the neutral American ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, sent a cable to the U.S. State Department in 1915:

"Deportation of and excesses against peaceful Armenians is increasing and from harrowing reports of eye witnesses [sic] it appears that a campaign of race extermination is in progress under a pretext of reprisal against rebellion."

Morgenthau's successor as Ambassador to Turkey, Abram Elkus, cabled the U.S. State Department in 1916 that the Young Turks were continuing an ". . . unchecked policy of extermination through starvation, exhaustion, and brutality of treatment hardly surpassed even in Turkish history."

Only one Turkish government, that of Damad Ferit Pasha, has ever recognized the Armenian genocide. In fact, that Turkish government held war crimes trials and condemned to death the major leaders responsible.

The Turkish court concluded that the leaders of the Young Turk government were guilty of murder. "This fact has been proven and verified." It maintained that the genocidal scheme was carried out with as much secrecy as possible. That a public facade was maintained of "relocating" the Armenians. That they carried out the killing by a secret network. That the decision to eradicate the Armenians was not a hasty decision, but "the result of extensive and profound deliberations."

Ismail Enver Pasha, Ahmed Cemal Pasha, Mehmed Talât Bey, and a host of others were convicted by the Turkish court and condemned to death for "the extermination and destruction of the Armenians."

The Permanent People's Tribunal recognized the Armenian Genocide on April 16, 1984.

The European Parliament voted to recognize the Armenian Genocide on June 18, 1987.

President Bush issued a news release in 1990 calling on all Americans to join with Armenians on April 24 in commemorating "the more than a million Armenian people who were victims."

President Clinton issued a news release on April 24, 1994, to commemorate the "tragedy" that befell the Armenians in 1915.

The Russian Duma (the lower house of the bicameral Russian legislature) voted on April 20, 1994, to recognize the Armenian Genocide.

Israel officially condemned the Armenian Genocide as Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Yossi Beilin proclaimed on the floor of the Knesset (the Israeli legislature), on April 27, 1994, in answer to the claims of the Turkish Ambassador, that "It was not war. It was most certainly massacre and genocide, something the world must remember."

The Armenian genocide is similar to the Jewish holocaust in many respects. Both people adhere to an ancient religion. Both were religious minorities of their respective states. Both have a history of persecution. Both have new democracies. Both are surrounded by enemies. Both are talented and creative minorities who have been persecuted out of envy and obscurantism.





Umich Education

The Armenian Genocide

The Armenian Genocide was carried out by the "Young Turk" government of the Ottoman Empire in 1915-1916 (with subsidiaries to 1922-23). One and a half million Armenians were killed, out of a total of two and a half million Armenians in the Ottoman Empire.

Most Armenians in America are children or grandchildren of the survivors, although there are still many survivors amongst us.

Armenians all over the world commemorate this great tragedy on April 24, because it was on that day in 1915 when 300 Armenian leaders, writers, thinkers and professionals in Constantinople (present day Istanbul) were rounded up, deported and killed. Also on that day in Constantinople, 5,000 of the poorest Armenians were butchered in the streets and in their homes.

The Armenian Genocide was masterminded by the Central Committee of the Young Turk Party (Committee for Union and Progress [Ittihad ve Terakki Cemiyet, in Turkish]) which was dominated by Mehmed Talât [Pasha], Ismail Enver [Pasha], and Ahmed Djemal [Pasha]. They were a racist group whose ideology was articulated by Zia Gökalp, Dr. Mehmed Nazim, and Dr. Behaeddin Shakir.



The Armenian Genocide was directed by a Special Organization (Teshkilati Mahsusa) set up by the Committee of Union and Progress, which created special "butcher battalions," made up of violent criminals released from prison.

Some righteous Ottoman officials such as Celal, governor of Aleppo; Mazhar, governor of Ankara; and Reshid, governor of Kastamonu, were dismissed for not complying with the extermination campaign. Any common Turks who protected Armenians were killed.

The Armenian Genocide occurred in a systematic fashion, which proves that it was directed by the Young Turk government.

First the Armenians in the army were disarmed, placed into labor battalions, and then killed.

Then the Armenian political and intellectual leaders were rounded up on April 24, 1915, and then killed.

Finally, the remaining Armenians were called from their homes, told they would be relocated, and then marched off to concentration camps in the desert between Jerablus and Deir ez-Zor where they would starve and thirst to death in the burning sun.

On the march, often they would be denied food and water, and many were brutalized and killed by their "guards" or by "marauders." The authorities in Trebizond, on the Black Sea coast, did vary this routine: they loaded Armenians on barges and sank them out at sea.

The Turkish government today denies that there was an Armenian genocide and claims that Armenians were only removed from the eastern "war zone." The Armenian Genocide, however, occurred all over Anatolia [present-day Turkey], and not just in the so-called "war zone." Deportations and killings occurred in the west, in and around Ismid (Izmit) and Broussa (Bursa); in the center, in and around Angora (Ankara); in the south-west, in and around Konia (Konya) and Adana (which is near the Mediterranean Sea); in the central portion of Anatolia, in and around Diyarbekir (Diyarbakir), Harpout (Harput), Marash, Sivas (Sepastia), Shabin Kara-Hissar (?ebin Karahisar), and Ourfa (Urfa); and on the Black Sea coast, in and around Trebizond (Trabzon), all of which are not part of a war zone. Only Erzeroum, Bitlis, and Van in the east were in the war zone.



The Armenian Genocide was condemned at the time by representatives of the British, French, Russian, German, and Austrian governments—namely all the major Powers. The first three were foes of the Ottoman Empire, the latter two, allies of the Ottoman Empire. The United States, neutral towards the Ottoman Empire, also condemned the Armenian Genocide and was the chief spokesman in behalf of the Armenians.

The American people, via local Protestant missionaries, did the most to save the wretched remnants of the death marches, the orphaned children.

Despite Turkish denial, there is no doubt about the Armenian Genocide. For example, German ambassador Count von Wolff-Metternich, Turkey's ally in World War I, wrote his government in 1916 saying: "The Committee [of Union and Progress] demands the annihilation of the last remnants of the Armenians and the [Ottoman] government must bow to its demands."

German consuls stationed in Turkey, including Vice Consul Max Erwin von Scheubner-Richner of Erzerum [Erzurum] who was Adolf Hitler's chief political advisor in the 1920s, were eyewitnesses. Hitler said to his generals on the eve of sending his Death's Heads units into Poland, "Go, kill without mercy . . . who today remembers the annihilation of the Armenians."

Henry Morgenthau Sr., the neutral American ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, sent a cable to the U.S. State Department in 1915:

"Deportation of and excesses against peaceful Armenians is increasing and from harrowing reports of eye witnesses [sic] it appears that a campaign of race extermination is in progress under a pretext of reprisal against rebellion."

Morgenthau's successor as Ambassador to Turkey, Abram Elkus, cabled the U.S. State Department in 1916 that the Young Turks were continuing an ". . . unchecked policy of extermination through starvation, exhaustion, and brutality of treatment hardly surpassed even in Turkish history."

Only one Turkish government, that of Damad Ferit Pasha, has ever recognized the Armenian genocide. In fact, that Turkish government held war crimes trials and condemned to death the major leaders responsible.

The Turkish court concluded that the leaders of the Young Turk government were guilty of murder. "This fact has been proven and verified." It maintained that the genocidal scheme was carried out with as much secrecy as possible. That a public facade was maintained of "relocating" the Armenians. That they carried out the killing by a secret network. That the decision to eradicate the Armenians was not a hasty decision, but "the result of extensive and profound deliberations."

Ismail Enver Pasha, Ahmed Cemal Pasha, Mehmed Talât Bey, and a host of others were convicted by the Turkish court and condemned to death for "the extermination and destruction of the Armenians."

The Permanent People's Tribunal recognized the Armenian Genocide on April 16, 1984.

The European Parliament voted to recognize the Armenian Genocide on June 18, 1987.

President Bush issued a news release in 1990 calling on all Americans to join with Armenians on April 24 in commemorating "the more than a million Armenian people who were victims."

President Clinton issued a news release on April 24, 1994, to commemorate the "tragedy" that befell the Armenians in 1915.

The Russian Duma (the lower house of the bicameral Russian legislature) voted on April 20, 1994, to recognize the Armenian Genocide.

Israel officially condemned the Armenian Genocide as Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Yossi Beilin proclaimed on the floor of the Knesset (the Israeli legislature), on April 27, 1994, in answer to the claims of the Turkish Ambassador, that "It was not war. It was most certainly massacre and genocide, something the world must remember."

The Armenian genocide is similar to the Jewish holocaust in many respects. Both people adhere to an ancient religion. Both were religious minorities of their respective states. Both have a history of persecution. Both have new democracies. Both are surrounded by enemies. Both are talented and creative minorities who have been persecuted out of envy and obscurantism.





Umich Education

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Yom Kippur War - October War

To all Muslims, who think Arabs won Yom Kippur/October war: Please have your researches by any real history book instead to go into Arab propaganda websites which misinforming you about the facts of that war.

Here are some FACTS for you:

The War Begins


On October 6, 1973 — Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar — Egypt and Syria opened a coordinated surprise attack against Israel. The equivalent of the total forces of NATO in Europe were mobilized on Israel's borders. On the Golan Heights, approximately 180 Israeli tanks faced an onslaught of 1,400 Syrian tanks. Along the Suez Canal, 436 Israeli defenders were attacked by 80,000 Egyptians.

At least ten Arab states, including four non-Middle Eastern nations, actively aided the Egyptian-Syrian war effort.

A few months before the Yom Kippur War, Iraq transferred a squadron of Hunter jets to Egypt. During the war, an Iraqi division of some 18,000 men and several hundred tanks was deployed in the central Golan and participated in the October 16 attack against Israeli positions. Iraqi MiGs began operating over the Golan Heights as early as October 8, the third day of the war.

Besides serving as financial underwriters, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait committed men to battle. A Saudi brigade of approximately 3,000 troops was dispatched to Syria, where it participated in fighting along the approaches to Damascus. Also, violating Paris's ban on the transfer of French-made weapons, Libya sent Mirage fighters to Egypt (from 1971-­1973, President Muammar Qaddafi gave Cairo more than $1 billion in aid to rearm Egypt and to pay the Soviets for weapons delivered).

Other North African countries responded to Arab and Soviet calls to aid the front­line states. Algeria sent three aircraft squadrons of fighters and bombers, an armored brigade and 150 tanks. Approximately 1,000-2,000 Tunisian soldiers were positioned in the Nile Delta. Sudan stationed 3,500 troops in southern Egypt, and Morocco sent three brigades to the front lines, including 2,500 men to Syria.

Lebanese radar units were used by Syrian air defense forces. Lebanon also allowed Palestinian terrorists to shell Israeli civilian settlements from its territory. Palestinians fought on the Southern Front with the Egyptians and Kuwaitis.

The least enthusiastic participant in the October fighting was probably Jordan's King Hussein, who apparently had been kept uninformed of Egyptian and Syrian war plans. But Hussein did send two of his best units — the 40th and 60th Armored Brigades — to Syria.

Israel Recovers

Thrown onto the defensive during the first two days of fighting, Israel mobilized its reserves and eventually repulsed the invaders and carried the war deep into Syria and Egypt. The Arab states were swiftly resupplied by sea and air from the Soviet Union, which rejected U.S. efforts to work toward an immediate cease­fire. As a result, the United States belatedly began its own airlift to Israel.

The Soviet Union showed no interest in initiating peacemaking efforts while it looked like the Arabs might win. The same was true for UN Secretary-General Kurt Waldheim.

However, on October 8th, Israeli forces, bolstered by called-up reserves, counter-attacked in the Sinai. They pushed back the Egyptian military and crossed the Suez Canal south of Ismailia. Here, the Israelis used the Suez-Cairo road to advance towards the Egyptian capital, Cairo, and got to within 65 miles of it.

The Israelis experienced similar success in the Golan Heights where the Syrian forces were pushed back and Israel re-captured lost land. Using the main road from Tiberias to Damascus, the Israelis got to within 35 miles of the Syrian capital.

On October 22, the Security Council adopted Resolution 338 calling for "all parties to the present fighting to cease all firing and terminate all military activity immediately." The vote came on the day that Israeli forces cut off and isolated the Egyptian Third Army and were in a position to destroy it.

Saving the Losers

How Israel behaved differently? With the Egyptian 3rd army surrounded, starving, dying from lack of water, did Israel move in for the kill as the Arabs would have? NO! Israel supplied and allowed supplies of fresh water and food to the very army who wanted to kill all Israelis and throw them into the sea.

Israel reluctantly complied with the cease fire, largely because of U.S. pressure, but also because the next military moves would have been to attack the two Arab capitals, something few believed would be politically wise. Despite the Israel Defense Force's ultimate success on the battlefield, the war was considered a diplomatic and intelligence failure.

The First "Arab Goddess Victory"

Arab casualties were known to be much higher than Israel's, though precise figures are difficult to ascertain as Egypt and Syria never disclosed official figures. The lowest casualty estimate is:

Israel Arabs

2,297 Israeli soldiers had been killed
8,000 (5,000 Egyptian and 3,000 Syrian) have been killed
7250 wonded 18,000 wounded
293 were captured 8,372 Egyptians and 392 Syrians were captured, Thirteen Iraqis and six Moroccans were also captured
400 Tanks + 600 disabled tanks, but been repaired and back to service 2250 Tanks, 400 of these fell into Israeli hands in good working order
102 Aircrafts514 Aircrafts
2 Hellicopters: Bell 205 & CH-5319 Naval Vessels


And the last FACT for you...

How's that Egypt got Sinai peninsula back by signing on a peace treaty with Israel in March 26, 1979 and didn't occupied Sinai in October war which occured in October 6, 1973?

Something to think about...



In Pictures:





















Friday, September 23, 2011

We Won't Move From Here

The Jewish people base their claim to the land of Israel on at least four premises:
1) Israel became a state in 1312 BC.
2) God promised the land to the patriarch Abraham;
3) The Jewish people settled and developed the land;
4) The international community granted political sovereignty in Palestine to the Jewish people;
5) The territory was captured in defensive wars.
6) The UN voted for the creation of the state of Israel
7) Jews ruled it for thousands years and maintained a continuous presence for 3300 years.
8) For over 3300 years, Jerusalem was the Jewish capital.
9) Jerusalem is mentioned over 700 times in the Bible.
10) Jews pray facing Jerusalem.
12) The history roots of the Jewish nation is in Israel.
12) The holiest Jewish site in the world and a renowned symbol of Jerusalem's Old City is the Western Wall on the Temple Mount..

Israel - We Won't Move From Here - Shlomi Shabbat (Lyric)

Israel Then and Forever - Everything has started here!

From here, doesn't matter where
We won't move from here
Together we'll stay and perhaps...

From here, when the morning come
I won't be surprise that I'm still here

Everything has started here and will never end
Here we stand again together to pray
Never be alone to collect all the hopes
Tonight we are still allowed to shed a tear

Everything has started here and will never end
Here we stand again together to pray
Never be alone to collect all the hopes
Tonight we are still allowed to shed a tear

From here, I have a little light
If I am still here
It's always a sign that...
Goodness will come
That goodness
G-d has taken
G-d has given
The light of blue and white

Everything has started here and will never end
Here we stand again together to pray
Never be alone to collect all the hopes
Tonight we are still allowed to shed a tear

Everything has started here and will never end
Here we stand again together to pray
Never be alone to collect all the hopes
Tonight we are still allowed to shed a tear

From here, doesn't matter where to....
We won't move from here



Guard the World, Child - תשמור על העולם ילד




Guard the World Child Tishmor Al ha'Olam Yeled

Guard the world, child,
there are things forbidden to see,
Guard the world child,
if you see you will cease to exist,

You are the hero of the world,
with the smile of angels,
Guard the world child,
because we no longer can succeed.

Guard the world, child,
don't exaggerate your thoughts
For the more you know, child,
the less you will understand

And at a certain hour
all the doors will shut
And all the love will end
Only you will survive.

Tishmor al ha'olam yeled
Yesh dvarim she'asur lirot
Tishmor al ha'olam yeled
Im tire - tafsik lihyot

Gibor shel ha'olam yeled
Im chiyuch shel mala'chim
Tishmor al ha'olam yeled
Ki anachnu kvar lo matzlichim

Tishmor al ha'olam yeled
Al tagzim bemachshavot
Ki kama sheteda yoter yeled
Ata rak tavin pachot

Uvesha'a mesuyemet
Nisgarot kol hadlatot
Vechol ha'ahava nigmeret
Rak ata mamshich lichyot.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Funny Questions About the 72 Virgins

There are many questions about the 72 Virgins concept. Here are precisely 72 of them.














1. What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2. What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3. If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4. What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5. What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6. If he's bisexual, does he get 36 of each?
7. If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8. What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a ménage-à-soixante-treize?
9. Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10. What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11. Is there Viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12. Is there an age of consent?
13. When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14. Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15. If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16. Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17. Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18. What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19. Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20. If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21. What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22. Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23. If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24. If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25. Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26. Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27. Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28. If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29. Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30. Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31. If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32. Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33. If so, are there 72 available?
34. If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35. If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36. Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37. Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38. Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39. Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40. If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41. What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42. Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43. How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44. Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45. Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46. If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47. What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48. If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49. How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50. Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51. Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52. Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53. If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54. Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55. So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56. Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57. What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58. When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59. Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60. If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61. They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62. Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63. If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64. Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65. Is the bomber entitled to substitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66. What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67. Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68. Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69. If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70. What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71. Do Siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72. Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?



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